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Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
2:03 am - the beginning of the end of my summer
i'm going to be alone all fall again. why can't i have a birthday worth living for anymore?

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Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
12:43 am
its been way too long since i used you like you needed and begged to be. sorry

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Sunday, December 31st, 2006
1:36 am - where to start and where to end
it is now officially the last day of the year, and i'm not sure how i feel about that. in some ways this has been the best year i've had, and in many ways the worst. no one died that i knew, in fact the last death of someone i knew was nick carpenter, who died right after i moved to portland. there've been a few babies born onto my friends, and all are doing well. i not only have one job, but two and am slowly catching up on my bills and credit cards. so it looks like i won't have to move to china and fake my death. i had lost lindsey, but she came back to me. my grandpa was ill, but he's much better, so is grandma. greatgrandma made it through another year. my nephew geoff had to go into treatment, but that finally got me to tell my brothers children the truth about me going to prison. two of my best friends got married, and i was able to be there for it. heck i think even a few more of my friends got married too. i no longer have to worry about fargo winters, but the high on thursday in portland was only 2 degrees higher than fargo. i've had several friends come out to visit and/or dj. i got to dj and might have a few gigs comming up soon. i still haven't finished my degree, but at least my paper didn't get deleted like i thought it had. i've seen some awesome shows out here, and met some amazing people. i finally am not getting lost every time i leave the house. i have most of my records out in portland now, which is nice for when i want to dj over at joels. i hurt my back at work, but it was just the joint between my ribs and vertibre, so it healed quickly and it looks like i'll finally be gettin my lost wages from at the gap. three weeks of wages is gonna be nice. i finally got to spend a holiday with rick and julie. lindsey and i go out on fun dates. gosh, things are pretty damned ok.

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Sunday, December 17th, 2006
11:10 am - it almost makes sense
On the twelfth day of Christmas, star_iv sent to me...
Twelve magas drumming
Eleven peaches running
Ten clubs a-crying
Nine boobies biking
Eight robots a-djing
Seven breaks a-kissing
Six lips a-cuddling
Five asi-i-i-ian girls
Four non prophets
Three beastie boys
Two mixing records
...and a sushi in a dj wally.
Get your own Twelve Days:

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Sunday, December 10th, 2006
11:58 am - i knew it'd been a while, but geez
how time flies when you having fun with love.

all kinds of stuff has happened lately, but for some reason i'd not said word about it.

lindsey and i, for those who didn't hear, are a hot item again. hot items actually.
i've been being artsy, doing collage work from magazines.
i quit reading "lithium for medea" cause i couldn't get over the talk of needles, but i want a new book.
i've hung out alot with lucas lately. he's a great guy.
i puked at pala
i danced my ass off at fez
in a dream this morning, i had a wasbi pea shoved into my pee hole.

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Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
10:05 pm - a face of love
q-burns abstact message - shame (hakan lidbo stockholm dub remix)
q-burns abstact message - shame (hakan lidbo album mix)
the postal service - such great heights (john tejada remix)
brazilian girls - lazy lover (brazilian girls' freemix)
the baldwin brothers - dream girl (pilgrims of the mind remix)
w/ the baldwin brothers - dream girl feat. miho hatori - dream girl
weekend players - i'll be there (gabriel & dresden remix)
tosca feat. earl zinger - wonderful
roy davis jr. feat. terry dexter - if you wanna (p'taah vocal mix)
schatrax - just for fun
block 16 - feels right
gus gus - very important people
q-burns abstact message - this time (rivera rotation remix)
lemon jelly - stay with you
daft punk - digital love (boris dlugosch edit)

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Monday, November 13th, 2006
11:49 pm - bleck
i woke up from an icky dream of where for some reason i had either lost or removed all the teeth in the top of my jaw. i remember it had something do with lindsey, but not sure why. so of course my morning sucked ass. it got better as the day went on, it usually does.

i got home today and had received a check from workmans comp covering time lost at cadillac, but they paid me a day too long so i can't cash it. they'll have to cut me a new one so i don't get in trouble. i also got paperwork to give to the gap so i can get reinbursed for lost time there also. i'll get that done and sent tomorrow, hopefully a check by next week some time.

i'm really in like with the book i am in right now. its good to read. hopefully it will get me in the mood to write.

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12:29 am - call me worm
well i finished "aim low" tonite.

the next book for me to tackle is "lithium for medea". it was one of the books that my favorite english teacher ever had on his required books list for his freshman english class a few years after i had taken that course through him. i picked up quite a few of those books over the years and have only read a few so far. at least i know i always have something good to read.

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Friday, November 10th, 2006
6:43 pm - start to fall
today was my first work experience since i hurt myself lifting a wet sponge. needless to say i was a bit hesitant to do much. and not just cause i was afraid i'd be sore all weekend if i did, but because it is friday. duh. at least lindsey let me use her car this morning so i didn't have to wait in the rain for the bus, which undoubtedly would have drove past me, probably splashing me. the shitty part is it just never stopped raining, actually it got worse as the day went on, which means that unless lindsey got a ride to work she had to walk in the rain or take the bus the 10 blocks to work. it is in my full intention to bring her the car soon so she doesn't need a ride home at 2am. i'm afraid i'll fall asleep by then. i woke up at 530 this morning and could fall back asleep, so i stayed up being quiet as to not disturb the household. it was fun hearing john let max out and the fall asleep on the couch waiting for him to go potty.

did i mention i finally finished reading "on the road"? i've been slowly reading it since this spring. granted i did finish a few other books during that time also, but i'm happy i'm done. i had hoped i would understand tommie sunshine a bit more afterwards, alas that was not the case. a few years ago he told me that the book changed his life. i have yet to read a book that was so overwhelming that i could consider it much more than reading. not that reading isn't awesome or shit like that, just have yet to encounter a book that did anything more than create a desire in me to read more books. right now i'm half way through "aim low" by dave dunseath. its message is to quit often, expect the worst, and other good advice. it is so up my alley of humor. i highly suggest it. now.

there are tons of good shows comming up, starting yesterday, which was del the funky. tonite is dr. octagon, or tech itch, or gwar. tomorrow is adam freeland or cheb i sabbah, sunday is lady sovereign with a dj set afterparty. next week is frank black, hot chip or the rapture, bassnectar, and krafty kutz.

thanksgiving is coming up soon, and since i lost my phone i can't call my aunt and uncle. i'd hoped they would call me prior to the day before the feast like they did last year. i guess they still have some time. if they don't it'll for sure be a night of debauchery at tre's. i love my family, which goes to say that debauchery runs in my blood. oh decisions decisions.

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Wednesday, November 8th, 2006
11:19 pm
i've become lazy since i haven't worked since last monday. granted, i have actually been pretty busy too. for instance today lindsey and i rearranged our room. carrie helped me clean upstairs tonite. yesterday i did a few loads of laundry. i mixed records for three hours today. i sat here, in front of the pc most of the morning. this afternoon i took care of my workmans compensation issues. of which i found that they'll pay for lost wages at the gap as well as cadillac. the law states they'll pay me 66 2/3% of my total lost wages minus the first three days of injury which are for some reason not covered. but most likely i won't get that paycheck for at least two weeks. so the moving out soon thing is tough. hell finding a place is pretty rough. tre said he'd help me any way he could. of course that was prior to reconcilliation of lindsey and i. joel had even mentioned getting a place together, but i NEED to live alone for a while. its a step i have yet to take. at least the girl i was seeing was very understanding of my situation. which is nice since we work together. i am almost done with "on the road" which i started this spring. sad.

i have to go to physical therapy tomorrow morning. i can't effin wait. then i have an appointment with an occupational therapist. hopefully they'll either say i can work or that i'm forever disabled. if the latter were true, i would never have to grow up. of course i could never accomplish anything in life. besides perfecting hangovers.

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Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
2:46 pm - vico vico
on monday morning, during the first car i was washing i got a severe pain in my upper back and had shortness of breath. my boss thought it might have been chemical from the stuff i was using to wash the rims and engine, but after a half-hour of observation in his office i only got more pale and in pain. they had someone rush me to the emergency room. there i spent the day on a bed being wheeled from test to test while being pumped full of morphine. after an ECG, catscan, a few x-rays and other tests they concluded it wasn't a heart problem or collapsed lung. however i still have some pretty bad pain in my upper back torso and have problems with it. i have missed two days at work and my boss is getting pissy. i spent most this morning trying to schedual an appointment with occupational health since it was an on the job injury and was reported to workers comp. i'm afraid to go back to work and cause more injury, but don't want to lose my job either. i wish the hospital would call me back, or at least notify my employer. at least up to that point i can manage the pain by taking vicodine and motrin.

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Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
1:53 pm - she's desperate for attention
i found out via the internet that lindsey is seeing a guy. so much for friendly honesty. and here i thought i lived with two of my best friends ever.

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Friday, October 20th, 2006
6:11 pm - the ice man
yeah so, my nephew geoffrey got admitted into prarie psychiatric yesterday by his parents. i guess kathy called the cops on him, which made geoff admit he'd been selling drugs, been smoking pot for at least a year and tried coke. now that is what he admitted to, remember, i'm sure not what he's actually done, just what he admitted. so yeah. i need to write him a letter. quicklike.

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Sunday, October 15th, 2006
7:23 pm - witch hazel
i wiped out really bad on my razor scooter last night, i'm still pretty sore today. i used it as an excuse for being late to work today. i'm sure it was too, not all the booze i had last night. hmmm. i've been hanging out alot with tre lately it seems. i sure wish i could live closer to downtown so i could hang out easier with people. lindsey and carrie are lucky. i probably shouldn't have sold my car. but i needed to get out of fargo. no, not really. i just couldn't see myself not with lindsey. its too late for that now though. we still hang out alot and treat eachother so much better since the breakup. probably more better than all summer and part of spring.

carrie let me use her truck tonite to get some cans from kendra, but i don't know where she lives, and neither of the girls wrote down an address. that sucks. what also sucks is that i'm still working at the gap alot. i love money around so i am gonna stick it out for a bit. it just gets tough when i have to work nearly 12 hours in a day. i sure do hate this mornings shit. i get so tired all the time.

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Thursday, October 12th, 2006
11:13 pm - russ
damn you post alot man, i can't even think about trying to read all the posts i've missed from you in the last month. idea, you summerize since you're the writer and i'm the guy who rarely reads.

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11:13 pm - and oh yeah....
holy shit, we have the internerd again!!!

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Tuesday, September 26th, 2006
6:32 pm - not avoiding
for the last few weeks the our household has been without internerd, our router went down.

but i have asked john if'n i can use his laptop til we get an upgrade in service.

till then. i'm still single. still living in portland.

but jason mattura will be in town on friday. rave on saturday.

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Thursday, September 7th, 2006
10:47 pm - its all good gravy
yup, thirty came onto me pretty well. i got drunk 3 times yesterday. i took a nap in the midday. i listened to drum and bass most of the night. i got to hear some dubstep at a club too. i got slippers from carrie and a wallet from lindsey. they both made me a cake. lindsey also gave me a disneyland 45 of mother goose rhymes. tre gave me a bobble full. i got to hang out with lucas who's life sucks right now. i talked to all my immediate family. i got plenty of well wishes via email or myspace also. i even got some happy belateds today. we were gonna go hottubbing at lindsey's work tonite but the owner was there cause a coworker was drunk and got sent home. i did get to throw some disc today too.

we also found out yesterday, that maple syrup on canadian bacon pizza is really good.

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Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
11:59 pm - chocolate sexy?
oh fuck i'm 30

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9:52 pm - sea crates
its two hours before i turn thirty and i'm not dead, so far so good on that. i guess i can't really rely on my sixth grade self to be too accurate on death predictions. woot.

of course i still have two hours and i am at home alone. i only know where one of my roommates are, and that is in minnesota. john left last week and should be back in a few days. or tomorrow, no one is quite sure on that. i hate when this happens. i feel lost/trapped.

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